He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
one two three fourrrrnication!
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I AM VODKA MAN
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
