I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
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