i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
