dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
