She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
you never un-have a 4some
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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