yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
