Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

I'm really into asian looking animals

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(619): View more from California

all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.

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(586): View more from Michigan

We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine

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(313): View more from Michigan

I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.

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(757): View more from Virginia

broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo

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(561): View more from Florida

He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.

(770): View more from Georgia

So it may have been laced, sue me.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes

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