Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
