my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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