please come you make the beer taste better
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I am one with the molecules
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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