My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize