I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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