I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
