So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize