I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
