we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't deserve a penis
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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