How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
