just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
