dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
