i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
