Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
