i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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