Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize