I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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