Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
