You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
