hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
