worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
They took my balls.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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