I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
