Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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