he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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