Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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