Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(765): View more from Indiana

I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"

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(410): View more from Maryland

i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes

Fav 13 2390 3286
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(708): View more from Illinois

Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok

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(802): View more from Vermont

I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck

Fav 4 1808 896
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(989): View more from Michigan

Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with

Fav 11 1735 965
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?

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(718): View more from New York

I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.

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