and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
