i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
we should paint friendship bongs
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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