using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
