After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
