I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize