she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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