is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
