sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
