Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
