office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
