guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Randomize
