96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
