Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
