How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
