You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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