It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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