All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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