margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
did i just pee glitter
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
