i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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