Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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