Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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