We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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