My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
