I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
