dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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