there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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