real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
