Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
false alarm. still invincible.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
