Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
