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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  woah 15?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i know! what is this dateline?

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• (360): View more from Washington

  my secret santa just gave me a pregency test

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Howd you meet this guy?

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore

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• (707): View more from California

  The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens

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• (818): View more from California

  You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew

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• (850): View more from Florida

  You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!

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