I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
