Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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