Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
