Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She bit a glass in half.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
