Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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